Seeing Who I Really Am

“Don’t act thoughtlessly, but try to understand what the Lord wants you to do.” Ephesians 5:17

I can’t tell you how many nights I have laid in bed since we have moved and asked the Lord why. Why here? Why this?

What is here Jesus? Who is here? Maybe nothing is here, maybe He brought us here to reveal to me who I really am when all is stripped away.

This is hard. I am learning things about me that are saddening. I am seeing that I still have more of my old self in me than I realized. Maybe it’s always been there and I have just ignored it instead of dealt with it. Maybe I have pretended to be someone I am really not.

Here I feel lost, really lost. I feel like the wandering Israelites. Did I complain did I doubt You Lord?

When one wanders lost and alone, several things happen. Satan attacks, temptations rise, and choices are made.

When the frustration of going in circles stays constant, it’s easy for anger to set in.

It’s easy to ask why?  But it’s hard to listen to the answer. It’s hard to see who you really might be.

It’s hard to see through the fog of confusion, frustration, anger, doubt, and hopelessness that His purpose in doing this is for my protection or for my true transformation to take place.

Pray for me. Pray for us. Pray that God will cleanse us, purify us, restore us, and make us new in Him. Pray our eyes will be open to see God’s purpose in all of this.