I don’t want to just exist!

“He created everything there is. Nothing exists that he didn’t make. Life itself was in him, and this life gives light to everyone.” John 1:3-4

It is this overwhelming feeling that arises up within me. One that leaves me thinking I want to do more than just merely exist. I want to nurture and be nurtured, I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus that brings comfort, love and hope to those in need. I don’t want to be a dull light in this dark forsaken world; I want the Jesus in me to shine so brightly the darkness is shattered by His brilliancy.

This thought of just existing whether as a mother, wife, friend, or daughter leaves me sad, frustrated, empty and feeling worthless. I want to do more than just blend in and fit in. I want the Jesus in me to stand out. I want Him to be seen, be known, and be loved. Because this Jesus in me, He does more than just exist.

So why do I feel as though I just exist with no purpose or meaning? It is because of this man named Satan who wants to rob me of my joy. He wants me to give up, doubt myself, and feel sorry for myself. He wants me to think that I am of no value, I have no gifts, and that I do more harm than good. But little does this destructive, rip your heart out, fill you with doubt, fear, worthlessness, shame, and whatever else this man tries to use know, is that the Jesus in me is the Mighty Son of God who has marked me and covered me with His blood. And with Him in me I do more than just exist, I am of value, I am loved, I am someone who can and will be used by the Son of God to carry out His will and purpose for my life. I am unique, I am important, and my life is meaningful to the Lord that is why He created me. It is living without Christ that I would just merely exist.

For the “me” part of it, I have to do more than just know and say it, I have to live it and believe it. I have to take my thoughts off of what others think and what my flesh thinks and put them on Jesus. I have to fill my heart with the love of Christ and His word and draw from it. I have to stop getting caught up in “me” and start getting caught up in Jesus and His purpose for me, which is way more than just existing.

Prayer: Lord You created me for Your enjoyment, for Your pleasure, and You tell me that I am of importance to You and Your Kingdom. Lord help me to overcome “me” and start existing for You. Amen