Monday, June 22, 2015

We Might Just Be Surprised

Why do we find the "Real" us to be not good enough or worthy enough? 

What has caused us to step out of our homes with masks on, instead of who we truly are?

What fears you the most about exposing your true self? 

We might just be surprised to find that the real us, is actually more than good enough. 

Jesus, You have created us with beauty and detail and love. Forgive us for trying to cover up or hide the beauty of Your craftsmanship. Each morning as we step out of our homes may we step out with confidence and humility and joy for who we are, how we were created and with the biggest Jesus glow that others can't help but be drawn too. Amen

Friday, June 5, 2015


11 years with the Mr. today. I could go all out and tell you how amazing he is, because mercy he is AMAZING. But the truth of it all, Jesus in the center of our marriage is the best thing about us. Jesus is amazing. Jesus had the perfect plan for me and him and we are so thankful to be living out that plan together. Serving Jesus together is the greatest part of us. We are better together than we are on our own. Jesus knew we would be the best team. I am so thankful to be from this mans ribs! Baby, every year with you gets better and better. Thank you for loving me like Christ loves the Church. I am blessed beyond what I deserve. 😘😘

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Selfless Service

To serve others, I love.
To serve my enemies, hard.
To serve my three boys, hard, amazing, hard and sometimes even depends on the day.

Okay truth be told serving most times can depend on how I feel. That's awful isn't it? But its true. It's something I battle daily. Overcoming how I "feel" and doing what I know is right and obedient.

Jesus said, "For even I, the Son of Man, came here not to be served but to serve others, and to give my life as a ransom for many." Matthew 20:28

That is selfless serving at its finest. Its true, genuine, real, authentic and completely amazing. If He came and did it, and He lives in me, I can do it too.


First step, die to myself.

"If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life." Luke 9:23-24

To "die" to myself literally means suffocating selfishness until it can no longer breath. This is so darn hard, but the more I focus on Christ and others, with a genuine love and godly motives, the more I begin to pull oxygen from self.

In my head this makes complete sense. In my soul, I know this is absolutely what I desire, but in my heart is a war.; a war between self and the Spirit.

The Pharisees struggled a great deal with this. They focused more on the law serving them and their wants, they failed to see the reason, meaning, purpose and love of serving Christ and others.

YIKES! Is the inside of my cup dirty?

Are my motives for serving to receive gain and honor and praise?

Sometimes, yes. Admitting that is hard, but its truth and freeing and brings me to a position of humbleness that is completely required to serve selflessly.

Serving will never come natural. It is an intentional action, I must chose to live out daily, with the purest of motives for Christ and others.

I might be eager to run into the trenches with hurting and broken and messy women, but in doing so I need to make sure my heart and motives, better yet I need to make sure the inside of my cup is clean.

Am I doing this because Jesus is the ultimate lover and victor of my life?

Am I doing this because I want others to receive the same mercy and grace I receive daily from Christ?

Am I truly willing to count the cost, give up my life, shoulder my cross and follow Christ to the place of death?

This is what is required to selflessly serve Christ and others.

Selfless serving requires us to walk into the unknown, the scary, the dirty, the broken, the unfamiliar and give up our time and self so others can know Christ.

Jesus, reveal my true intentions and motives for why I am serving. If it is for selfish gain, correct me and stop me immediately. Jesus fill my heart with a desire to serve selflessly. I know the cost, I know the responsibility is great. I know the privilege is a gift. I know my trust is prudent and necessary and a must. I know my purpose and design is to serve You. I know all these things, Jesus, so help me live them and do them with a loving, merciful and compassionate heart that has been rescued and redeemed by the Most Holy of Holies. Amen

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Two Beasts-

Survival mode. It seems to be the term used most often with moms. I have even used that term several times. But when I think about it, am I really in survival mode. No!

Survival mode is the mama who spends hours sitting at the side of a hospital bed.

Survival mode is the mama who just lost her spouse and is trying to figure out how to raise her children on her own.

Survival mode is the mama fighting for her own life because cancer has taken over her body.

Survival mode is the mama whose husband has been cheating on her and she is trying to figure out what to do next.

Survival mode is the mama who is beaten by her husband or significant other and is praying she wakes up from the blow she just received to her head.

Survival mode is the mama who just laid to rest her two little children who were killed by a drunk driver.

Survival mode to me, is literally the fight for your next breath, your next step, your next…how.

I feel selfish thinking I have even been in survival mode, because the truth is. I haven't. I have this overly blessed life with a husband who loves and adores me and his two boys.

I have two boys who are healthy and can walk and see and hear and think and feel and talk and laugh and do.

So life gets a little stressful, but it's just that, a little stress brought on by me taking on more than I should.

Survival mode and stress are two different beasts. But they are beasts that the Lord steps in and gives us  extra doses of strength to rise and overcome and move forward.

As I begin studying Serving/servanthood/A servants heart, I want to be able to look outward to needs of those who are in survival mode or stressed and show them I am willing to walk into the trenches with them, and whether we sit there for a moment or stand, I will sit or stand with you.

I might not know what to say, or how to help you put one foot in front of the other at that moment. But with the Lord's help and guidance we will figure it out together.

To me, that is what serving and loving and doing life with and caring for others is. It's walking into the messy and scary and unknown and dirty.

It's being still and real and honest and vulnerable and compassionate and an ear that listens and a heart that says, 'I care. I am here. We will do it together.'

Jesus, I know this month will be very life changing, and I welcome those changes in my life. They are needed, necessary, and welcome here. I seeking an attitude like Yours. A heart like Yours. A vision like Yours. Jesus, its scary, but I trust You. Its unfamiliar, but I believe in the One who is familiar with all things, all situations and all people. Amen