Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Through a kiss, a mothers arms, a Doctors patience and his stillness

"I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me." Psalm 16:8

Today is another one of those days when I woke up went through my morning routine except in a different town, different home and with a hospital bound destination.

Though my scenery is quite different, my mind set of routine mode is the same.

Drive to the hospital, wait, test, wait, fill out paperwork, wait, see the doctor, discuss everything ALL over again, wait, listen, check out, go home!

Then it happened...

We pull up and Jesus completely rearranges this routine mind set I am in.

I glance out the window to see two beautifully bald little girls wearing the cutest as can be masks to prevent breathing in any sickness floating around, and my heart fills with two emotions that overwhelms me to tears.

Gratefulness and brokenness!

Routine-numb routine might just be the very thing those parents are in as well, and all to mask their pain, fear, weariness, anger and frustration.

So from the parking lot to lab, to now the waiting room, we have yet to be put back into a normal everyday mindful routine (If that even makes sense)

To be honest I type, look up and cry! It is a vicious cycle. One that has grown more over this last year due to our own battle with Dax.

Though the severity of Dax's disease is not life threatening, it is still our battle. But one we are ever so grateful for, even as weird as that might sound.

I need to be shaken from routine. To much routine makes me become complacent and closed off from seeing Jesus around me, and boy is Jesus' presence around in this place.

There are 13 floors and we have covered four of them and amazingly Jesus has been on each floor.

Right now on the ninth floor I sit across from a young man, his mom and dad as they wait to see the Neurologist. He is unable to talk but can sign and make noises. As I sneak a peek due to the sound of mama coming from his mouth, I watch as she wheels him around and gently encourages him to tell her what he needs, when, sigh, he leans in and gives her a kiss on the lips and forehead!

Hmmmmmmm.... More tears..

Oh, merciful Jesus in the midst of sickness, stress, routine, and even frustration, You continue to be ever so present in our lives and all around us. Even in those who refuse and ignore You. You sit by our sides and give us grace, peace and an unfathomable amount of fight and strength to do so.

You do it all through love and it comes in ways that catch us off guard. Thank You for showing Yourself through the sweetest kiss, the comfort of a mothers arms, the patience of doctors and the stillness of Dax as he finally drifts off for a much needed nap.

Jesus I know You are always with us, for that we will not be shaken, because You are right beside us.

Jesus I pray that all these parents and even doctors will be aware of Your presence in the good, bad, scary, frustrating and stressful times. Amen