Can I tell you something really funny?
Avery was sick all night throwing up from 11:40-5:00 this morning! No, it's not really that funny, but to me the way things have been going, at this point all I can do is laugh.
Laughter is the best medicine to keep your sanity intact, and a little of venting and griping at your poor husband who already feels helpless. Bad, I know, and unfortunately the way I deal with things I guess.
Not great for him AT ALL, actually really stinks for him, but he is great about it, at least he leads me to believe so.
So guess what the Lord has been teaching me all morning?
Three things!
1. "Love is patient and kind. Love is NOT jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does NOT demand its own way. Love is NOT irritable (yeah, totally failing big time on this one), and it keeps NO record of when it has been wronged. It is NEVER glad about injustice but rejoiced whenever the truth wins out. Love NEVER gives up, NEVER loses faith, is always hopeful, and ENDURES through every circumstance. Love will last forever." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
** I have some work to do. Okay A LOT of work to do.
2. "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times (Garrett would not have described me as being gentle in my words at 4 this morning), and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no partiality and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness." James 3:17-18
** Goodness, I have a feeling I am going to sit in this state until I get the lesson He is teaching me. I am going to get it, even if I have to be here a year, because the growth and development of strength and character is SO worth it!
And finally
3. " What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Isn't it the whole army of evil desires at war within you? You want what you don't have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous for what others have, and you can't possess it, so you fight and quarrel to take it away from them. And yet the reason you don't have what you want is that you don't ask God for it. And even when you do ask, you don't get it because your whole motive is wrong-you want only what will give you pleasure." James 4:1-3
**Yeah, that one hurt! Really hurt! I might not be literally killing Garrett but I am killing his heart by my words and actions. Even though this season in our life is E-X-T-R-M-E-L-Y stressful, I still must remain loving just as Christ is loving with me.
-Oh, goodness brethren this season I know is for no other reason than some major purifying within me and it is hard. Right now I am just trying to figure out WHY IN THE WORLD I am clinging to this control and self and not letting go in order to move to the amazing season of life God has waiting for me.
All I know is that Jesus I am listening! I hear You and I am listening so please DON'T GIVE UP ON ME! You either G! I want so badly to say I am trying but that is a mere word, I know my actions need to kick in and kick in quick!
