Friday, May 21, 2010

What Kind of Friend are You?

“Disregarding another person’s faults preserves love; telling about them separates close friends.” Proverbs 17:9


Friendships whether broken, mended, just starting up, or have been there for years are very important. The broken friendship teaches us and tests our loyalty and faith to the Lord. They teach us the meaning of love; they teach us how to forgive, how to have self-control, and how to be the hands and feet of Jesus when you are around them. The mended friendship reveals a true friend, a friend who doesn’t harbor hurt and anger in their hearts, they make allowance for each other’s faults, and they understand the meaning of forgiveness, because they too have been forgiven. A new friendship allows us the opportunity to share God’s love, to be encouraging and to encourage, and to be the loyal friend God has called us to be. The friendship that has been there for years, well it speaks for itself.

The Lord knows and understands the importance of friendships. Let’s look at two key passages that will help us be the type of friend God calls us to be.

“A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.” Proverbs 17:17

There is a difference between being a true friend and just knowing someone well. A true friend is loyal no matter what conflict arises between the two of you. A true friend is a friend who builds you up, encourages you, keeps you accountable even if you feel their timing is off, they stick by you when times are bad, and they are honest even when it hurts.

A friend that just knows you well can become a friend of convenience. They are there when it is convenient for them, when they hear what they want to hear, and when they get hurt they leave or harbor anger and bitterness towards you. This type of friend might even just say what others want to hear and then turn and curse them behind their back.

Which friend are you? Think about your friendships the ones you have and the ones you no longer have, were you loyal? Are you loyal?

“There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

Do you seek to have lots of friends and be the stand out in the crowd? Sometimes when we try to be those types of people we realize just how few “real friends” we have. It is better to try to be a “real friend” than to seek to have them. Are you the friend that joins along in the gossip of others, are you a friend that when hurt sets out to destroy the other person with your speech, your actions, and even your thoughts? Do you seek revenge, do you charge at them? Or are you the friend that sticks by that person regardless how you were treated. There is something to say about this real friend.

You can tell a lot about what type of friend you are by how you have handled the broken friendships.

Be the friend you want others to be to you, be a peacemaker not a dissension maker. Be understanding and don’t read more into a situation than you should. Be forgiving and make allowance for each other’s faults. Find joy in the friend who loves you enough to keep you accountable. Be the friend Jesus is to you.

Most importantly remember to not harbor any bitterness or anger towards others. Jesus tells us very clearly that before we can bring a sacrifice to the Lord we must make amends with those who have something against us. So swallow your pride and make things right even if they refuse to accept it, for then you will have done what is right in the eyes of the Lord and can return to the altar and offer your sacrifice up to God. (Matthew 5:23-26)

Prayer: Lord help me to be the loyal friend to others that You are to me. May I show love, forgiveness and kindness just as You have shown me. Take my thoughts and my words captive only allowing encouragement and kindness to come out. Amen