“How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!” Psalm 139:17-18
Why is it so hard to accept who we are? Why have we become so insecure that we can’t even accept a compliment? We feel like we are not good enough because we are not like so and so or because we don’t look a certain way. Satan and society have us believing so much garbage that we have even become so competitive and jealous of others.
What we fail to forget and believe is that we are unique and there is no other person like us. We all come in different shapes, sizes and colors. Just like the Lord made us too. We will never be like anyone else, we will never look like anyone else, and we will never possess the same gifts as someone else. Isn’t that amazing? Out of 7 billion people in the world there is no one like you and me, and if we read God’s word we will see that. Here are a few passages you can look up; Psalm 139:14-16, Genesis 1:26-31, Romans 12:3-8.
I can tell you right now I am not and never have been a mom whose kids are on a schedule. During football season my boys refuse to go to bed until they have seen their daddy. And for those of you who know what hours a football coach works, if my babies can get 2 minutes or 5 minutes with their daddy before they go to bed, by golly I am going to let them. I am also and will never be a good cook and to be honest, I am not even that crazy about cooking. My kids don’t eat all their food groups and sometimes McDonalds is the next best thing. I don’t sew, I have no creativity in me what so ever, I don’t have a garden, and my house is not clean 24-7. I lose my temper at the littlest things and I even get mad at my kids and husband from time to time. I am not athletic; I am not driven to have lots of money, etc. My boys are very active, busy, and do things others probably think they shouldn't.
So does all that mean I am a bad mom or woman in general? No! But do you know for almost 20 years of my life I have believed that I was a worthless person because I was not like all of that or like so and so? I would let all the comments of others and society get in my head and tell me what I should think or be that immediately insecurity, worthlessness, and being a nobody would come in and drowned me. I was so critical of myself. It would get to the point where I felt I had to be a certain way and if I didn’t meet that standard I was a failure. I was letting all those thoughts control me and if they weren’t controlling me I thought something was wrong.
Just recently I have started removing all that craziness and have started learning exactly who I am in Christ. I have started listening to what God says about me and who God has created me to be. I am listening to God when He tells me I am special just the way I am. Through His word, I am learning the areas that I am gifted in, and know realize they are of great significance and importance in the functioning of the body of Christ. I am listening to the Holy Spirit tell me that God loves me unconditionally, He gets all my silly quirks, He understands every detail of my heart and He still loves me and accepts me as His own. His thoughts about me are precious, too numerous to count! I am actually allowing God to change my way of thinking instead of Satan and the world. Romans 12:2 “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.”
God makes nothing ugly and He makes no mistakes. I am not ugly, I am not a mistake, and I don’t have to be somebody I am not! I can be exactly who I am, love who I am, accept compliments and rejoice in the success of others. I can live in freedom and not guilt or condemnation because Christ Jesus lives in me. So can you!
I do know today, now a year later, that I am a hard core follower of Jesus Christ. I am madly in love with His Word and Him. I am confident in who I am as a woman of God and am okay with standing out for His sake. I love to live according to His laws, and I am in need of His mercy and grace every second of my life. I am okay with being weak, for in my weakness He is mighty. I am a sinner who has been redeemed and rescued and love to share that with others. I am beautifully molded in the image of my Savior and have been designed as a woman who does not believe in a compromised faith. Jesus built two primary colors within me, black and white, and I like that simplicity. It works for me and for those Jesus leads me to witness to. I cannot get enough of Him! I love to fight with Satan and prove His lies to be just that-lies, and I do so because I know I will always win because of Christ in me. (I do not ask for the fight, I just know he is relentless in attacking, and Jesus says fight with the Word, so I fight)
I desire for women to be deeply challenged in their faith and not settle or compromise for anything less than God’s best and His expectations of them. I desire them to have confidence in Christ and wear Him proudly with humility. I believe we can never spend too much time in the Word, nor should we be okay with going a day without studying His Word. I don’t believe in the excuse there is just not enough time, (it’s actually a pet peeve of mine) and I BELIEVE in the power of confession and true repentance.
I am just a Jesus lovin’ girl whose hobby is His Word, whose favorite conversation is Jesus, and who loves to share Jesus with her family and others. I love deep theological discussions, God’s Word being preached in the Church and the amazing body of believers that make up that Church.
Prayer: Lord thank You for teaching me that Your thoughts about me are more important. Thank You for making me feel loved, beautiful, and adored everyday as I open up Your love letter you have written to me. If there are others struggling with this same captivity today Lord I pray that they will let go and find freedom in You. Amen
