"There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24
"A gossip tells secrets, so don't hang around with someone who talks to much." Proverbs 20:19
The conversations seem to be geared more towards negative statements about herself and others and less about Jesus and what was once her main topic, the lost and His Word.
This begins to bring so much confusion about her real desires and motives.
Finally after months of hanging out you begin to realize every time you leave you feel less and less encouraged, and more frustrated. You begin to hear more and more negative comments. Disagreements begin, forceful opinions come rushing in, and all of the sudden you find yourself brought into situations that begin to portray a poor reflection of you. Not only that but you notice you have begun to speak the same way.
The next thing you know, the gossip that has been done, comes back, and you realize she has went from person to person, and what you once believed has turned out to be the completely false. She has been twisting the words of others.
This brings even more confusion.
How do you handle this?
Ladies, I am not sure if you have ever experienced a friendship such as this or if this description describes you. But may I share with you something every women needs to hear?
Gossip is the quickest thing to destroy a friendship and your character.
Negativity leaves a distaste in the mouth of others. It's not attractive, and it is a downer. If we are all honest, we will admit we are all guilty of both of these.
No matter what, when we gossip, it eventually gets back to the person or persons we are gossiping about, and do you know what that does to their hearts?
It hurts it, and even plants a small seed of anger within it. That can and will eventually sprout resentment, bitterness, and hatred. Thus, causing dissension among one another.
Why in the world would we want to be the cause of that?
Do you know who else it hurts? God!
Ladies can we let that sink in for a minute. When we speak poorly of others or speak negative about ourselves, we are hurting the Lord. We are sinning, and we are acting opposite of what His Word says.
When our speech reflects gossip and negativity, it reflects a heart that flows more on the selfish side rather than on the Christ like side.
But take hope! God can help us with this! Believe me, I am a testament to His faithfulness, and I can say that because, I have set on both sides of this. I have done it, and I have been around those who do it.
I can tell you, if you will seek God's counsel, help, and protection, and give Him control of your thoughts, speech and friendships, He WILL help you, keep you accountable, and guide your tongue as you speak.
Not only that, but ladies, we need to be praying for God to surround us with Godly women who desire to do nothing but live out God's Word, love others, who are prayer warriors and will be an encouragement to us.
That way, when we reach out to other women around us, we will have a strong support group to fall back on that, strengthens us, holds us accountable, prays for and with us, builds us up, and in doing so together, we all become stronger for the Kingdom of God.
I can tell you, that the Godly Women the Lord has placed around me, is one of the greatest blessings. I have prayed for these women and love these women as though they are my own flesh and blood. And though none of them live by me, it doesn't matter. God still allows us the opportunity to pray with each other and for each other. Whether through a text, email, or phone call we are always building one another up, through Scripture, love, and an encouraging word. It is a NECESSITY.
Ladies, if we desire to be women that reflect the very image of Christ, we have to have Godly women in our lives that will push us closer to Christ, rather than the world. These women will reflect the description given in Titus 2:3-5.
"Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that is appropriate for someone serving the Lord. They must not go around speaking evil of others and must not be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to take care of their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God."
So I want to challenge you today. I want to challenge you to evaluate your speech and thoughts according to the Word of God.
Are they fruitful or fruitless?
Are they kind and loving or mean and hurtful?
Do they build others up or tear them down?
Do they reflect Christ and His Word or do they reflect selfishness and the world?
Do they express God's faithfulness and your trust in Him or do they express doubt?
Then, I want to challenge you to spend about 30 minutes in prayer about your friendships. Ask the Lord if these friendships;
Push you closer to Him
Build you up in the Lord
Encourage you through prayer and Scripture
Are pleasing to Him
Do the conversations bring Him glory
Trust me, He will reveal to you whether or not they are good and pleasing or if they are displeasing. This won't be easy!!! Oh, mercy believe me. But I promise you, if you are obedient, you will be blessed.
Listen to Him, sweet one!
Finally I want to challenge you to ask yourself and if you are courageous (most of us would rather not say anything to upset someone, but little do we keep in mind, we are hurting someone and sinning when we allow gossip to be spread) enough to ask the person you are with that is gossiping the following questions.
Is what you or I saying, going to bring honor to the Lord?
Is what you or I saying, going to build this person up or tear them down?
Is what you or I saying, based off of jealousy and self?
Ladies we all have a motive behind what we say and the friends we have. Let's make sure that motive lines up with the Word of God. And let's also remember, God can and will set us free and deliver us from this, IF, we really want to be set free from it.
I will also say, unfortunately this will be something we battle the rest of our lives, but God will give us the strength, the courage, and the discernment to know which friendships will be good or bad. He will even intervene on our behalf and remove those friendships that are not pleasing to Him, when we draw near to Him and stay in constant prayer.
Let's be women that live out this amazing description of love. "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps not record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Jesus help us to become women who are loving, kind and merciful. I pray you move us to complete discomfort anytime we begin to speak negatively about ourselves or someone else. Set us free from this sin that entangles us. Help us, as godly women, to rise up and be peacemakers. Jesus this has become such a normal thing now that we have forgotten how much it displeases You. Jesus break our hearts for what breaks Yours. Forgive us for acting opposite of what Your Word says. Reveal to us any friendships that are displeasing to You and help us to remove ourselves from them. And as we do, I pray You bring godly women into our lives that love and desire to live according to Your truth in all ways. Amen
"I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119:11
To help you do just that, here are some additional passages from God's Word that would be great to store in Your heart.
Proverbs 10:32
Proverbs 11:9
Proverbs 11:12
Proverbs 11:13
Proverbs 11:17
Proverbs 12:18
Proverbs 12:26
Proverbs 13:17
Proverbs 15:1
Proverbs 15:4
Proverbs 15:28
Proverbs 16:24
Proverbs 16:28
Proverbs 17:9
Proverbs 18:2
Proverbs 18:4
Proverbs 18:7
Proverbs 18:8
Proverbs 18:19
Proverbs 18:20-21
Proverbs 20:3
Proverbs 25:8-10
Proverbs 25:18
Proverbs 26:20-28
Proverbs 27:9
Proverbs 27:17
And many many more..keep searching His Word sweet one!
