This is not His design

“She will not hinder him but help him all her life.” Proverbs 31:12

What is an ideal marriage? I am not sure, but I am sure God did not design a marriage to be lived with unhappiness. I don’t think He designed women to be the helpers but never be helped.

 I wonder today what Adam and Eve’s marriage was like after their eyes were opened. What did she do all day, what hours did he work. What was their relationship really like? Did they fight? Did they have more good days than bad? What was their marriage like when Cain killed Abel?

Did it bring stress to their marriage? Did they ever go to bed angry? What was dinner time like? Did they have their priorities lined up?

I wonder if during arguments Adam brought up Eve eating the forbidden fruit? Did she say, “Well so did you?”

Was there ever a moment when one of them thought, “I just don’t want to do this marriage thing anymore?”

None of those questions to me would result in an ideal marriage, but more like a normal marriage today? Unfortunately!

God, the loving, kind, merciful God He is, did not design marriage to be full of bickering, frustration, stress, loneliness, angry, or helplessness.

The problem is we have created that type of marriage for ourselves. It is when two “SELVES” collide

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I am trying to avoid that for my own marriage, but lately it seems impossible. If I am truly honest before the Lord, myself and you, I would admit that today I don’t want to be the helper, but the Holy Spirit inside reminds me differently. He gives me the strength to push through the stress, the frustration, the anger, and He reminds me of the love of Jesus. He is my very need, yet inside, I long for more than the thought.

I want more understanding of how a marriage is to be according to His word, His law. He wants more from us, from me.Then again, I know it comes down to love, love for others. It cannot work if the love is always directed inward. Is it okay to want more out of my marriage than the norm, if this is even the norm?

Oh, merciful Lord, Your helper is weary, tired, frustrated, and helpless, even helped-out. Show us Lord how You designed marriage to be.  Then guide us, change us, and help us conform to Your design. Because I know it is way better than the one we have designed for ourselves. Amen