“The more I thought about it, the hotter I got, igniting a fire of words.” Psalm 39:3
I took the kids to the church playground to play, stopped and got them a drink from Sonic, then drove them over to the football field to play on the track and run around. We then stopped over by the field house so they could see their daddy. He walks over and we all begin to talk. Up to this point it has been a great day.
We all get our daddy lovin’ and then I proceed to tell him all we have to do when he gets home. It is at this point I become “crazy woman” who is all of the sudden overwhelmed and frustrated. And I am sure if he was telling his side of the story he would say I was EXTREMELY frustrated and beyond “crazy”. We will discuss that later.
When “crazy woman” finishes speaking my calm and patient husband says, “Ok, I know, we will get it all done. I should be home around 3:00, love you got to go.”
The “Crazy woman” roles up her window gives him a look and drives off. As I drive off I begin to convert back to Kristi. We get home I throw the kids in the tub, get them dressed and laid down for a short nap. If you know my babies or have heard me talk about nap or bed time, you would know this is a chore, which brings “crazy woman” back out. Anyway we all get calmed down Kristi comes back out gets a few minutes of peace and quiet and even gets in some studying.
I begin to finish up when you would think after basking in the presence of the Son “Joyful Kristi” would stay out right? Well “Joyful Kristi” left quick and in a hurry when she looked at the time and realized it was almost four and her husband was not home.
“Crazy woman” come’s flying out and begins thinking about how all she ever does is wait on her husband. The more she thought it about the hotter she got and the more she began thinking about all the negative. She got so hot she not only ignited a fire of words, she blew those words all over her poor husband through text and directly in his face the minute he put his self in that car. “Crazy Woman” burned him right up. She blew so much fire at him; he then became filled with fire.
So the whole way to Longview, the whole time we were in Longview, and the whole way home from Longview fire was being thrown.
(Sigh) Here is the greatest lesson “Crazy Woman” and Kristi have been taught. The more I focus on the negative, the more thoughts in the flesh I have the less I allow Christ’s light to shine. The less my boys (all three) see a woman who reflects, loves, and lives and breathes Jesus Christ. Instead they see a fickle woman.
That is not what I desire, that is not the example I want to set for my boys. That is not the wife I want to be. There is a reason God has kept me on the importance of thoughts and for this very reason, if my thoughts don’t change my actions won’t change and the ones who know me best won’t receive God’s best.
As I searched God’s word yesterday and came upon our passage, God stopped me dead in my tracks and humbled me. This friend is where I struggle; fixating on a thought until it makes me so hot that I ignite a fire of words onto my own family.
In order to ignite words of love, I need to think more about God’slove. In order to ignite peace, I need to think more about God’s gift of peace. This is where I have failed in my thought life. I am not fighting the fire with the word of God as I should. I am not going directly to the fire house for help; I am trying to fight the fire myself. And all this does is cause third degree burns that hurt and leave lasting scars.
G, I love you more than life itself! Thank you for being so patient and for loving me and "Crazy Woman" unconditionally. You show me daily what true genuine love looks like, and for that I am ever so grateful.
Prayer: Lord You are the fire Chief and Your word is the water that puts out all fires. Help me Lord to call upon You at the spark and not when it is lit. Amen
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