It’s Raining Trials!

No matter which way I turn, I can’t make myself do right. I want to, but I can’t. When I want to do good, I don’t. And when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway.” Romans 7:18-19

When I looked up the weather report for last week and this week the forecast showed clear skies with 0% chance of rain. So why in the world is it raining and why am I the only one getting wet? What started out as a light rain has now ended up being a down pour with dime size hail.

I am not talking about the rain that falls, I am talking about the rain of trials. The first day of my rain began when my one year got put in the hospital for two days and all four of us stayed in that tiny room with one bed. With that came my first opportunity to put patience into practice. Of course instead of being patient and reminding myself Garrett was just as tired as I was, he wanted to be there just as much as I did, and he was just as worried, I did the complete opposite. I allowed my feelings to take over because it just seemed easier at the time and I became annoyed with any and everything He did. Avery my poor baby had no clue what was going on and because of that he was scared and only wanted to be with Garrett and I. And as we all know to contain a three year old in a hospital room for two days is just not fun for him or for us. I again ignored that and got frustrated at him for being frustrated. Then between keeping Dax from ripping out his IV, holding him down for his blood to be taken, and his persistence to get into any and everything he could tested my patience even more. Patience test-failed.

My heavier rain came when we got home and our baby was still not better and all the tests results came back leaving us empty handed. On top of that I have a writing assignment due by May 15 and I realized I only had one week left to get 4 lessons done. That brought on my lack to show and express love. Instead I have expressed frustration, stress, and oh so much anger. Leaving my husband grumpy my babies upset and me even more upset with myself for acting the very way I do not and did not want to act. Love test-failed

Now for the hail-Garrett left early for his track meet in Houston because he couldn’t stand being around my grumpy self when little does he know I can’t stand being around my grumpy self either. I have let the house become a complete junk hole because I have been trying to write, tend to the boys and all the other jobs I have. Last night I went to put my boys in the tub and there was no hot water, so in and out as quickly.  I do have to say at this point God was and is trying to get my attention and give me the opportunity to reflect Him.

So I wake up this morning turn on the hot water-none. Hot water heater broke. Then I go to clean out the sink turn on the garbage disposal and it’s broke, so I lean down to look under the sink and when I opened the door an awful metal smell shot up my nose-garbage disposal burnt up and now the sink won’t drain. At this point I laugh all while losing my self-control. I pick up the phone and out come the Niagara Falls of complaining. Self Control with my words-failed

I open the word of God seeking the great Counselor for help when He takes me to Romans 6:14-25. As I read over the words of Paul my head begins to nod up and down and my heart begins to cry out a loud Amen. Paul could not have expressed how I felt any better. And the great thing from reading about his struggle reminded me that it is Jesus within me that will set me free and help me posses the qualities of His that I so desire to posses. But the greatest thing out of all of this is that I became attentive to the opportunities I was given and that even though I failed I did and am walking through this rain storm being more conscious and prepared how to handle the next rain storm that approaches whether the forecast calls for it or not.

Are you facing some rain trials today?